Testimonies

Anita-

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome (future). (Jeremiah 29:10)

My future didn't look too bright and before I reached the age of thirty, I certainly felt there was no hope for me. Peace was something other people experienced; my days consisted of how I was going to get my next fix. Looking back, I lived in fear and torment. I was quite familiar with the spirit of fear. I grew up with it in a home that was full of strife and sometimes violence. Once I opened the door to mind altering substances, Satan came in like a flood. I lived a life addicted to drugs and alcohol. There was a saying, "once an addict, always an addict" and the same saying held true for alcohol and I believed the lie of the enemy for a long time. I took my first sip of alcohol at the age of 13 and got profusely drunk. I started using other drugs when I was 16. I began going in and out of prison and for the next 19-years, that would be my existence; drugs, alcohol, and institutions. I really wanted to change but I believed the lie I'd learned so long ago. Satan said there was no way I could ever change so I settled into that lifestyle. While in prison I would study the Word but as soon as I returned to the streets, the insanity would start all over again. I didn't believe there could be any victory over my circumstances. There were brief periods of abstinence but before long I would go back to what was most familiar to me: drugs, alcohol, physical and emotional abuse.

I made a vow to God in August of 1993. I said if He would save me from going back to prison, I would serve Him. Needless-to-say He was faithful but when I got out I immediately went back to my old ways. I wasn't out three weeks before I was arrested again (God honors our vows). I felt utterly hopeless when I got there. With a sincere heart and a made-up mind, I asked God to change me. The work was slow and sometimes I couldn't tell if He was working or not. I desperately wanted a change to take place in my life. One day a lady came to minister who I had done time with. She told me she was living drug-free and had opened a Christian clean and sober living environment for women like her. I had begun studying with some women from Aglow. A prophecy was made over my life that I had been going through a revolving door but this time when the door closed I would never enter that way again. I was able to be very honest with them and they loved me in spite of myself. They showed me how to be a woman of God through their love walk. Just before it was time for my release, I started thinking about what I would do when I got out. I started thinking about the drugs again. God reminded me that the plan I had was not the plan He had so I went to the Christian sober living environment that my friend told me about. Aglow Prison Ministries were involved in after-care and gave Bible studies there. I had come to love these women. I began to learn who I am in Christ, I learned to walk in the things of God, how to travail in prayer and be a women of God. My countenance began to change and the hardness began to leave my heart. I became willing to do whatever it took to live my life for Jesus. We overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony (Rev. 12:11). God has delivered me from some deep places. There are some things God hasn't released me to share with everyone. Today my life has become a testimony to the goodness and grace of Almighty Jehovah, The Most High God. I feel like Jeremiah, it's like fire shut up in my bones (smile) and I want to shout and tell everyone about Jesus and His power to save and set free. Today I am being used to set the captives free - people like me who believe the lie; women who feel there is no hope and have settled for a lifestyle of abuse, prison and drugs. There are those too, who are encouraged because God is sovereign and no respecter of persons --He delivers from the gutter-most to the utmost. Hallelujah, all praises due to God! I am a willing vessel and when He needs someone to go, I say, "Here am I, send me".

--Anita